Mommy Needs To Vent
Monday, July 10, 2006
Our Parents Getting Older
Ok this is going to be pretty short and to the point because I don't want this being read by too many people. I am wondering- is anyone planning on taking care of their parents when they get older? Do you think your kids might take care of them? Why do people go to nursing homes? Are their advantages to that or something? All of my grandparents have passed away and I don't have much experience in this kind of thing so can anyone let me know what they think? Do you and your parents ever talk about the future and them getting older or do they totally not want to discuss those kind of things. I really need some opinions here so comment away!
posted by Tasha, 7/10/2006 09:12:00 AM
I'm not very close to my parents so I think they will be in nursing homes unless someone else in my family takes care of them. As far as in-laws, that's where they will be too I guess.
We have been blessed in our family. Everyone has been able to stay in their own homes and take care of themselves with the exception of my grandfather. He had to go into a nursing home. He was ill and an alcoholic. So, it was better for him to be there. He changed tremedously while in there and became a really good person. I will take care of my parents if they aren't able to stay in their own home. I'm not sure about my in laws because my husband has 2 sisters. I am an only child so it is up to me to take care of mine. I would put them in a nursing home if I wasn't able to take care of them for some reason or if we didn't get along.
It's a very nice thing if somebody can live with his or her parents when they get old. I think it's better if you discuss it with the other family members, your siblings maybe. It's also better to get to know what your parents wish. Some of them just don't want to 'mess up' their children's family and choose a nursing home instead.
By the way, I hope you don't mind if I put the link to this post in my blog entry. It's about "How to Handle Getting-Older Parents?"
In my country it is very normal to be with your parents still even when you're older and with a family of your own -- whether they live really near you or you all still live together. Nursing homes are not common here, which makes taking care of our parents when they're old already a given for all of us...
I have thought about this many times, and all I can say to that is that I love my mom, but I fear the day that she can no longer take care of herself. I do not want to take her in, it may be selfish, but I've seen first hand what its like for someone to take their elderly parent in and its not fun. She has said many times that she doesn't want to go to a nursing home, so lets hope she can afford assisted living, because I just can't do it. You may want to look into assisted living, its different from nursing homes and it still gives them their independence. Hope this helps a little!
Just found your blog, so i have spent my morning geting caught up.
I am currently caring for my 86 yr old FIL. He came to live with us almost 3 years ago, after MIL passed away.
As much as a gripe abou things sometimes, i wouldn't change it for the world. The relationship my children have with their Papa is a wonderful one, and something they would never get if he was living in "a home". They also help keep him young, and as he says gives him a reason to wake up every morning.
When my husband and i bought our home we bought it knowing that we would be caring for Papa. We have also talked to my parents about when the time comes and they cannot live on their own moving in with us. We owe them.
And maybe, in my own selfish way, i can hope that my children will remember this for when i am no longer able to care for myself