Mommy Needs To Vent
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Patience-I'M LOSING IT! Could it be ADHD or ADD?
The other day I felt awkward picking him up. His teacher was acting like I don’t discipline my child. In fact- we are VERY strict on our kids. Tyler CAN BE a little hard headed though. He is good in many aspects. He eats ALL his food. He never argues about anything he eats. I grew up if a family where I ate what was put in front of me. Sure- if he wants something for lunch I will make it for him. When dinner time comes around, he eats what I make. No exceptions. He hates eating beans. No matter how much he hates it he will eat the tiny little serving I still give him. If he doesn’t want to eat- he can go to bed.
Tyler never says bad words. He won’t ever tell me no or someone to shut up. He EVER tells me “NO”- he knows what is coming.
What I am saying is for the most part- Tyler is a really good kid and I have seen some bad kids. He is just very obnoxious and doesn’t pay attention. I had a talk with him about his behavior in school the other day. He was only 5 inches away from my face and looking into my eyes. I was talking to him very sternly. It was only about 3 sentences telling him that when I dropped him off he needed to sit at the table and not talk and not play. He wasn’t to do ANYTHING until his teacher gets him. I asked him “What did I just say?”
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
I don’t get it. He obviously was in la la land while I was talking to him. So then I started raising my voice. I am starting to lose my patience with him big time. I know he doesn’t have a memory problem. He is very smart for his age and if it wasn’t for his behavior- I think he is ahead of most of the children in his class. I don’t know that for a fact but last year his teacher had said that he was really smart. He can read some books on his own. He knows a lot of math already. So it is NOT his memory.
He also talks non stop all the time. People keep telling me that is normal. I know kids at this age talk and have a lot of questions and things on their mind- but like I said- I am getting to the point that I don’t want him talking. Last year his teacher already warned me that I was going to have problems with him in school the rest of his school years because of his talking. He has a lot of stuff to say I guess. Well she was right, because most of the trouble he has been in is for talking when he isn’t supposed to be. He interrupts his teacher while she is reading stories to the class. He plays with his friends and runs down the hallway. He doesn’t eat lunch because he is too busy talking.
My question here is- what am I doing wrong??? His teacher looked at me the other day and said I need to start putting him in time out. I DO PUT HIM IN TIME OUT! Then she suggested I started taking things from him. I ALREADY DO TAKE PRIVLIDGES AWAY FROM HIM! She probably wanted to say I needed to start busting his tail! I DO THAT TOO! Nothing works! I don’t understand this discipline thing at all I guess. I already told him he can’t go to his grandmas this weekend as of Tuesday. Yesterday he got into more trouble than ever. I made him lay in bed from the time he got home yesterday with no toys or anything. I let him get up for dinner. Then I made him go to bed early. I guess we will see if it did anything. I am sure it didn’t.
Could this be some other problem? Or am I just doing this all wrong? I feel like something is wrong. Is it possible he could have ADD or ADHD? This runs in both mine and my husband’s family. I am not sure if it’s hereditary. I am just losing my patience and don’t want him getting into so much trouble in school.
It is possible that it is ADD? Have you talked to his teacher about that? Can you get him tested?
Is it possible that maybe stress at home is causing his behavior?
Have you talked to your son about this in a nice but stern way and asked him what is wrong or why he thinks it's ok to do this at school? Maybe a good heart to heart talk with him will help....
Thanks for the advice so far!
Don't wait to rule it out.
There is no shame. Do NOT blame yourself. AT ALL. He is his own person and will make choices no matter how great of a job you've done and in spite of any mistakes. I make so many mistakes and I get scared too. BUt I know I've done the best I can with my son and now my daughter. That's all we can do as mommas. :)
I say get him tested. Rule it out or in and then go from there.
it's almost too early for the teacher to tell if it's just the first week of school.. she needs to do more assessments of him in different settings.
can he sit at the carpet at storytime and listen to the book or is he up and moving and not sitting on the carpet? can he sit and do any task for any length of time and if so, what?
if i was the teacher... and you know i'm waiting to get licensed..i wouldnt tell you how to raise him and i would observe him in many situations over a period of time. perhaps he is a kinesthetic learner where he needs to move to learn and not just sit at a desk and listen and/or see (auditory vs visual)... some kids are that way.. they just need to move their body to learn... if she starts to discipline him in class by taking away recess then you need to step in becuase that is the last thing you want to do to a child that is active... it will only make him worse to force him to sit... another thing.. is it possible that he is just overwhelmed and excited about school? it's hard to give advice on someone i dont know but just so you know what to look out for etc...
google kinesthetic and you will see lots of stuff on it... i did but i won't bother posting the addy's here for you.