Mommy Needs To Vent

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Turning Back Time

I am sitting here today typing a paper for English. Many thoughts are going through my head today and after talking to my oldest friend, I start to wonder about life. I have to admit, I am happy that I am married and I am happy I have kids, but sometimes I don't feel so happy. I sometimes look back on my past and think about all the things I would change if I had another chance. People I would save or would have lended an ear to. People that I made enemies for reasons that were beyond our control, and let's face it, pity things that never really mattered to begin with. I would have embraced the good times not realizing how they wouldn't last forever. As a kid you think things will last forever, or when you see things going on in your life, you think that is how it is. We are "sheep" in this worl and that everybodyshould feel the same. We all are really different though.

My best friend went to another school in the town next to mine and while we were not old enough to drive, we kept in touch by phone. I remember we used to talk on the phone all hours of the night even when we had school the next day. She told me a bit ago, how I would tell her I was tired and asked her to tell me a story on the phone. Sounds crazy huh? She would tell me stories until I fell asleep. I remember talking on the phone with her in the mornings while getting ready to go to our different schools and we would sing songs on the phone. She remembers that no matter whose house we went to, even as we got older, the first thing we would do is turn on a curling iron. It had to be one that would heat up in 30 seconds!

This friend was the best friend I could ask for and we share many memories. We both have two children now but are lives are still quite the same. We aren't always happy and we both have a lot of issues. Could mistakes we made back then be the reason for our problems now? A couple of years back we bumped heads all the time and even had stopped talking for awhile. She didn't agree with where my life was going, but now, she sees it more clearly. She understands everything I was going through because now she is going through it.

So yeah, I guess this is sort of a depressing post, I just think back at all of my past and wish I could change things sometimes. I wish that I had a second chance at certain things. OK. Actually this may have something to do with watching "Lost" this past week and the story I am analyzing for English. Oh well, we all get a rambling post sometimes!


I like the rambling posts. It's like listening to someone thinking aloud. It feels 'cozy' somehow.
Awww... I can't imagine who you are talking about ;). I think back too. What if you had stayed in NC. Would things be different for any of us? We always had each other to turn to instead of just the one person that we each have now. Is that a reason we are still with them, cause we felt there was no one else there for us? Things get bad and things get tough but I'm just a phone call away. Luv ya and miss ya BUNCHES!!!!
There are a few things in my life that I sometimes wish I could go back and change. But then I realize that if I did that, I would not be who nor where I am today. All these things I wish I could change ended up being valuable learning experiences for me, and while some of them hurt (and one still does today) I honestly don't think I would go back and change a thing.

You're lucky in that you have such a friend. I don't trust anyone enough to really let anyone get close enough that I would consider having a "best" friend; not anymore. But then, I've always been a bit jaded. ;)

This was a really good post - got me thinking.
I often reflect on my past and wonder ... what if ... but like erica said ... I would not be here if I went back and changed things.

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